5 common mistakes which New Managers make

There are 5 mistakes which generally New Managers make-
1^st Mistake:- They want to be a Hero
Remember, company pays you money to think and work. They don’t pay you to become a Hero and increase your fan following. The problem with the new managers is that they want to show themselves as a heroic person, rebellious and revolutionary in nature whether people around them require that kind of behaviour or not. Before, giving proof of your ‘Great Heroism’ it is important that you prove your honesty towards your employees and commitment for work.

2^nd Mistake:- They criticize, criticize and criticize
It is easy to criticize someone and new managers do it very well. They act like a fault-finder who only makes people realize how inferior they are and they need to improve their standards. Remember, if you don’t praise people then you don’t have any right to criticize them. Your job is to find strengths of your employees and make him or her work for the organisational success. You can make your employee overcome its weaknesses only when it has mastered its strengths and not before that. Even when you need to criticize someone do it in a very casual way. Never do criticism fiercely as it will make your employee defensive and he or she can attack you back.

3^rd Mistake:- They use Nice and Tough approach
Some new managers behave nicely in the beginning and then after sometime they try to be tough with their employees. They believe that this Nice and then Tough approach will help in gaining employee loyalty. No!! Never do this mistake. This is the poorest of all mistakes.
 On other hand, use Tough and Nice approach- This approach means that share your values and make your rules clear in the beginning. Live your values from the first day of your job. Encourage your employees to follow the standards you have made. All the fun can be done later when your employees start understanding you.

4^th Mistake:- They want to change everything
This mistake politicians of India make again and again. They destroy the old system completely and then try to do build a new one. I am not against any change but my point is that every old system carries some good points and we should not overlook them. If you want to bring a new system then at least some part of your road should go through the old system. This will help in preparing people for the ‘Big Change’. Never try to bring change directly in people. The golden rule of changing people is- To change the people, change the Environment e.g. a person will do hand-washing only when you will make water and soap available to him. You cannot directly push him to do something without taking any action from your side.

5^th Mistake:- They do Lots of Talking
New Managers waste lots of time in talking this puts their employees in doubt that whether they have capacity to do something or not. Once an employee of government hospital told me, “Every new hospital administrator talks more than he does. Before talking about honesty they should prove they are honest, before talking about hard work they should do hard work.”
I believe his point was- Do some action and then talk. Action speaks louder than words.

Four rare qualities of Human Beings

In school I had a separate subject of Moral Science where my class teacher and sometimes 

Principal used to give a short lecture on Good Habits, Ideal Living etc.

I think from school I got habit of observing people and finding the Moral Principles they follow. As per my observation there are four qualities which are rare in human beings.
Only exceptional men and women carry them-

1. Humble Confidence- I am purposely using two words here- “humble” and “confidence” because many times people think that confident person is always extrovert, bold or 

first-in-the-row and humble person is always shy and introvert. Humble Confidence simply means being a mix of professional expertise and personal sobriety. These people take their work seriously but not themselves. At the time of crisis they will appear like a great warrior else they will remain in their shell and enjoy their own small tasks.

2. Personal Discipline- Discipline itself is a rare trait but one thing which I never liked about disciplined people is that they unnecessarily want to make everyone disciplined. They always enforce their rules on others by presenting themselves as a great example. But, people with personal discipline are different. They themselves lead a disciplined life but never interfere in others life. They add discipline in their lives because they want to and not to show others that how great they are.

3. Respond Boldly- Every action has a reaction but if we carefully think, plan and analyze our reaction then it becomes respond. Reaction is spontaneous and immediate but respond is not immediate we take a pause, quietly examine the situation and then give it. Once respond is decided successful people convey it boldly, without any fear or hesitation in their tone. Many people react but only few respond with boldness.

4. Limited Networking- In 21^st century people determine your net-worth by the network you have. Interestingly, in school we are taught that we should be friend with everyone but I never met any successful man having a large burden of network. Never network with people with whom you cannot connect. Nothing in your life will damage you more than your useless connections. These people connect with few and continue their friendship with them diligently. 

In school no one teaches us about these four rare qualities. I found these qualities in all exceptional men and women. I hope people follow them sincerely.

4 Stages of Learning Process

I have seen in my life that people who are cheerful and persisting in their life attract more success than people who only depend on their qualifications and job title. I like children not because they are cute and sweet but because every child has tremendous desire to learn new things. I don’t know why, but when we grow up why we slowly crush our learning desire, we feel as if we have learned everything and anything new would only be a burden on brain and nothing else.

Once Socrates said- “King’s should be philosophers and philosophers should be King.” It is because it was his belief that philosophers have learning desire and that learning desire kills all other desires especially physical desires. According to Socrates the major trait of a King was his control on his physical desires which was possible only through immense amount of learning desire. Therefore, we can conclude that other name of a Leader is-Learner.

In a Learning Process a person goes from 4 stages-

1.      Enthusiastic Beginner- At this stage, a person is excited about the topic but has no knowledge.

2.      Confused Learner- This is the path-breaking stage because when we are excited about something and then when we try to learn about it two things happen- either we get encouraged or we get discouraged. The moment someone discourages us or we get a minor failure we slowly lose interest and go back to our past level. Learning is toughest at this stage.

3.      Capable but Nervous Learner- At this stage a person knows How to Work but is nervous about doing it on his or her own. A person does not have confidence and doubts his or her abilities continuously.

4.      Confident Achiever- A person learns the required skill and has practiced it many times. He tends to make fewer mistakes and delivers high-quality results.

Every one of us goes from these stages at one point of time. But only few cross the 4^th stage and become special in life. These people don’t only gain respect for themselves but become inspiration for the society.

Prophet Mohammad- his qualities and Islam

Even though I took birth in a Hindu family, I am more inspired from the thoughts of Buddha than any other spiritual guru. Gautam Buddha has said, “Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.” 

On internet I see lots of Anti-Muslim elements. I was little surprised when my own friend started sharing such half-baked truths regarding Islam and Prophet Mohammad. I have personally analysed Prophet Mohammad and I am here to talk in his favour.

There are many terrorists group which have acclaimed that they are acting in the name of Allah. It is non-sense because in Quran it is written- “Do not fight with anyone unless someone fights with you and do not commit any immorality as Allah does not likes the immoral.” Then how can they say that they are doing something in the name of Allah?

At the time of Brahminism maximum power was with Brahmins and they misguided people for their benefits. This happened in Christianity also where once maximum power was enjoyed by the Church and many crimes took place in the name of religion. History repeats itself because we learn nothing from history. Today Islam has come into the state which Hindus and Christians have already passed.

Don’t judge a Religion by seeing its followers because sometimes followers themselves don’t know what they are following is right or wrong.

If you want to know about Prophet Mohammad read this- “The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, used to feed the camels himself: He would perform household chores: mend shoes, darn clothes, milk goats, and eat in the company of servants. If a servant became tired while grinding flour, he would help him at this. He would not feel belittled carrying household goods from the market to the house. He would shake hands with the rich and the poor alike. He would always be the first to extend greetings. He would not disdain accepting an invitation not even so small an invitation as to join in eating dates. He relieved those who toiled. He was mild tempered and kind hearted. His conduct was excellent and he was always cheerful. He would smile but would not laugh loudly; he would not frown even when vexed. He was humble, but not lowly; generous, but not extravagant. He was tender hearted and merciful to all Muslims alike. He would never eat his fill to the point where one is likely to start yawning. He would never extend his hand motivated by greed.” (Mishkaat)

Now ask yourself, Prophet Mohammad was a right person or wrong? I believe after reading this you will understand that he was a great man but unfortunately many people don’t know about his greatness.

Crime, Criminals and Criminology

Every society has only few intelligent people rest it is full of mediocres, fools and criminals. It is important for everyone to know certain basics about crime so that we can cope up with it at any point of time.  

In my opinion, Crime is that any intentional activity which can hamper the progress of the society. Criminals are the people who commit crime and Criminology is that field in which we study about crime patterns and criminal behaviour.

Generally, Crime takes place due to political and economical disharmony. Labourer is found 14 times more likely to go to prison than a professional. Poor people commit more crime than Rich people. Lombroso, an Italian Physician and Professor, is considered to be the “father of criminology”, He claimed that combination of certain genes make us Criminals. He did a detailed study on the hereditary aspects of criminal behaviour. He was the first man to coin the word ‘Born Criminals’.

There are 46 chromosomes in our body which make our heredity. Among them 44 chromosomes affect our physical qualities. Some researchers believe that people with certain physical structure are more prone to commit crime e.g. tall and thin people are more likely to commit murder and robbery; tall and fat people are likely to be cheats; short and thin people are tend to be small thieves; short and fat people tend to commit sexual crimes.

Hooton (An anthropologist from Harvard who did a 12 year research on prisoners) stated that generally criminals have sloping forehead, thin lips, short ears, straight hairs, long thick neck and sloping shoulders. His research somewhere proves that our biological development can make us criminal by nature.  

If crime takes place due to social or economic problems then we can stop it by changing our customs, laws, by generating more employment etc. but if it takes place due to mental or personality disorder then it becomes difficult to stop it.

Crime can be classified into 4 groups- against person, against property, against public interest (e.g. embezzlement) and against public decency (e.g. disorderly conduct).  Crime takes place when people want money, sex, recognition or revenge of something. There is no other reason for committing crime.  

There are certain activists which support the brutal punishment for crime esp. Rape. I do agree with them, it is important to give punishment to prevent people from doing any abnormality. But, I also say that instead of punishment we should think of treatment of criminals because it is difficult to explain what happened for what reason. 

How to manage your Boss?

Time is changing and new things are taking place of old things e.g. Earlier, Organisations required Hard Workers but now they require Knowledge Workers. Companies have become more value driven than profit driven. Earlier, Lack of Communication was a problem but now Internet and Mobile have brought people so close that Over-communication has become a problem. People are more scientific than orthodox. They want to desire more, live more, love more. Countries were focused on saving their independence now saving our own planet is an issue.

In this changing time, we see that a new concept is bubbling i.e. Managing our own Boss. Nowadays, we should not only learn to manage our juniors but we should also learn to manage our own Boss.

Boss can be classified in 2 types - (1) Readers (2) Listeners. 

Reader type of Boss- He is the Boss who likes to have details of everything. He will see your Writing Skills to grade you for promotion. He takes time in giving his judgement. He likes perfection and devotes maximum time in Planning. He likes sober, simple and obedient employees. He acts according to facts, than imagination. You will easily find Books, Journals and Newspapers in the cabin of this Boss.

Listener type of Boss- He is the Boss who does not like to have details of everything. He only wants to know about the important things and that also verbally. He takes decisions quickly. He starts working without doing much planning and research. He likes dynamic and competitive employees. He will always concentrate on your dressing sense and oral communication. He puts his imagination in every work. You will easily find Television and Computer (with installed video games) in the cabin of this Boss. You can also catch him gossiping with people in his cabin.

See what type of Boss you have and work according to the expectations of your Boss. You will definitely get success much before than your colleagues.

(Note- The blog is inspired from the article published in a Management Journal)

Jaspal Bhatti Death Numerology

Astrology is among my favourite subjects and Jaspal Singh Bhatti who died few months ago was among my favourite personalities.

Recently, in my leisure time I thought of doing a numerological research on his life. I was shocked to see the association of numbers in his life.

(Note- All these predictions are on the basis of Vedic Numerology only)

Firstly I will start with his name numerology-

J+A+S+P+A+L=17

S+I+N+G+H=17

B+H+A+T+T+I=17

Number 17 indicates that the person would be remembered after his death. He had three times 17 in his name so power of this number gets increased. Hence, He will always be remembered through his humorous shows.

If we add 17 i.e. 1+7 we get 8. It has been observed that three eight bring prosperity and richness. He was definitely a rich man because his name makes 888.

8+8+8= 24 and he married his wife Savita Bhatti on 24 March.

His Date of Birth was 3/3/1955. So, his soul number was 3. This makes 12, 21,30,39, 48, 57, 66, 75, 84 his auspicious numbers. He was born on Thursday and it is a day of Jupiter which represents number 3 in numerology. This increases the power of 3 in his life.

Number 3 indicates that the person would be a simple, truthful, assertive and humorous. I believe he had these qualities in him. This number also makes you a good leader and administrator.

One thing which will surprise all of you is that he took birth on Thursday and died also on Thursday. He died at the age of 57. As mentioned before, it was among his auspicious numbers.

He died on 25/10/2012. If we add 25 i.e. 2+5 we get 7. Seven is a holy number. I believe he must have got heaven.

Rest in Peace Bhatti Sir.

5 Problems of the Government Sector of India

I am working in the government sector of India and I have observed that there are some common problems in all the sectors. The problems are as follows-

1.  Too Much Written Communication- Written Communication is useful because you can keep a record of it and can use it for future evidence. But, too much written communication becomes a headache. You spend a lot on the purchase of papers. The maintenance of these papers becomes a challenge for the staff. Unnecessarily, they have to keep such documents which have no value. These useless documents also occupy lots of space in the office which could be used for other purposes.
Employees do not keep records or keep incomplete records because they have a mindset that no one will ever check them. It becomes very difficult to know the past position of any organisation. Bundles of documents you can find in any government office but only handful of them is useful. These records can be scanned and can easily be maintained in the computer. E-receipts and bills will also be useful. But, this old tradition of record keeping is so prevalent that no one wants to change it.

2. Lack of Planning- When we plan things we get a direction for our work. Future is very uncertain but through planning we can determine the solutions of the problems beforehand. This helps us in being proactive.“If I will get 8 hrs for cutting down a tree. I will spend 7 hrs in sharpening the axe.”- Abraham Lincoln. In the government sector of India not much focus is given to planning.  Things work on a Big Guess. Everything is speculative than being calculative.

3. Non-Acceptance of Lady Boss- It is difficult to become a Leader but if you are a Lady then it is even more difficult. Mostly, in any corner of the world it is men who are working and women look after the house. When Men see that a woman is leading them then they take that thing on their Manliness. They don’t say it but they become more non-cooperative and non-obedient under a female boss. My advice to all female bosses is- Lead like a Mother. Women are superior because God has given them the position of a mother and mother will always be superior to anything. Bring out that hidden potential in you and you will become a great leader.

4. Ego clashes of Higher Authorities- “I am not afraid of an army of Lions headed by a Sheep. But, I am afraid of an army of Sheep headed by a Lion”- Unknown
It is very difficult to become an Officer in the government sector of India because of the High Competition. People who beat this competition and get the seat of authority become so much egoistic that they do not even bother to listen to someone below their rank. A cold war goes on among the Officers just to prove who has more dominance. They leave not a single point to ridicule each other. These ego clashes hamper the functioning of the whole organisation.

5. Under Utilized and Unskilled Labour- A computer operator is looking after the accounts section. A clerk is acting like a superintendent. In short, you can find Mr. X doing the job of Mr. Y. It happens majorly because of two reasons firstly, He or she is in the favourites of Boss and secondly, He or she is not in the favourites of Boss. They are given the job which nowhere has connection to their past qualifications and experience. These are the Under Utilized Labours.
Unskilled Labours are those who are doing a job but as they don’t have complete training of their work they always under-perform. Proper training is required to be given to all these people. Else, More Errors- More Troubles.

Fear of Criticism

According to a research the second greatest fear after death was fear of Public Speaking. I don’t ridicule the study but as per my observation the greatest fear of mankind is Fear of Criticism.

Students cheat in exams not jus’ because they want good marks but because they fear that if they will not secure good marks then their parents or friends will criticize them. Women tolerate violence of their husbands because they think if they will leave their husband then people will criticize their failed marriage. Employees take bribe because they fear that if they will not expand their standard of living then people will criticize their economic condition. People lie because they have a fear of criticism and punishment.

 We slowly in life lose the courage to be ourselves because deep inside our heart we have Fear of Criticism. Anyone in this world can manage success but it requires strong mind and esp. Strong emotions to manage failures. If we want to do any solid work then we should control this fear of criticism first.

If we will read Bhagvad Gita, a holy book of Hindus, one word which comes again and again in it is ‘Be Fearless’. 

We must recognize our rights and stand-up for them if you do not then other people will define your role; you will lose your freedom and life space.

How to conquer criticism?

·         If you feel someone has hurt you then always answer to that person. No matter whether he’s innocent or not

·         Take a pause and think of an effective answer.

·         Never let a criticism stopping you from doing something you like.

Your progress depends upon the response you give to your fears and failures.

 “It is our mind which makes us weak not our body. “- Anonymous

What are the similarities in Bible, Quran and Bhagvad gita?

Once I had to write an essay on Mahatma Gandhi. I read some articles on him and a short book covering his major life events. I came to know an interesting fact about him. He read Bible, Quran and Bhagvad Gita to connect effectively with Christians, Muslims and Hindus. I liked his idea and I decided that one day I would also read these religious books.
Finally, I have read them. I have observed that there are 21 common messages in these books and they are as follows-

1.      There is only one God of this Universe

2.      He is formless and believe in Him

3.      Remember God through prayers

4.      Preach about God and His creations to other people

5.      No religion matters to God, only your truthfulness matters to Him

6.      God gives us life and He only kills us

7.      We are responsible for our actions

8.      God gives us rewards and punishments for our actions

9.      Earth is only a resting place for us

10.  Every living thing has a Soul

11.  Angels, Hell and Heaven exist

12.  Good people go to Heaven and Bad people go to Hell

13.  Idol worship is the lowest form of worship

14.  Don’t find God in idols

15.  Give respect to the resources that He has given to you

16.  Give charity to the poor and needy people

17.  Do not lie

18.  Do not steal

19.  Do not commit adultery

20.  Do not hurt people physically or emotionally

21.  Speak gently
These messages may sound general or common to few but it's a FACT that all these books talk again and again about these 21 messages only.

Myths of Leadership

From past 30 days I am working in a government organisation. Here, I meet a large number of people daily. They have their own problems and methods of dealing with them. I also meet the supervisors/leaders of the different departments. After meeting, so many people for so many days, I came to a point that there are certain myths which people have on leadership.

Myth 1- Leaders are dominating. So, one who dominates more becomes a better leader.

Reality- Leaders are pleasing. They are like energizers. Whenever, you see them you get a positive energy which motivates you to perform efficiently. If you get an ill feeling while working under your boss then he or she is not a leader for sure.

Myth 2- Leaders give orders.

Reality- Leaders give suggestions. They never meddle in others work. They only monitor the work and give their suggestions to improve it. A leader has to learn to give powerful suggestions not orders.

Myth 3- Leaders shout too much else no one listens to them.

Reality- Leaders persuade to get things done. Donkey and Dog both make tremendous noise but that does not make them a leader among other animals. When you persuade people you give them valid reason(s) to follow you. In my observation, people follow the right person automatically. You don’t need to force yourself on anyone.

Myth 4- Leaders are highly intelligent people.

Reality- To become a leader you don’t need to be highly intelligent. A great leader of history Changez Khan- was an illiterate. He didn't know to read and write. To become a leader you only need to have an ability to understand the feelings of others. What people want and how you can help them is the center of focus for a leader.

Myth 5- Leaders have strong Luck.

Reality- Bullshit!!! Leaders make their own destiny. I don’t deny that luck factor does not exist in any success. But, people succeed in life not just because of luck. They succeed because of discipline, direction, determination and dedication they have for their goal. Many leaders lived a very misfortunate life. They received lots of embarrassment, criticism, danger and risk. Some of them even lost their family. Their life was not easy. They managed their failures properly and kept on persisting towards their aim.

   

What are Values?

I often see people talking about values. Once, my teacher said, ”Great Leaders succeed because they have values in them.” But the question is What are Values? How they are helpful in our own personal and professional success?
The word value has been derived from Latin word valuta which means to be of some worth or to be strong. Therefore, value is something which makes us strong and valuable for others.
Now we can say that, “Great Leaders succeed because they are strong and valuable for others.”

In my opinion, values depend on the role you are playing e.g. Value of a religious person may not be as same as the value of a political person.

Values can be classified into 6 forms-

1.       Political Value- People who have political value also have extreme Need of Power in them. To do competition with others and then trying their best to defeat their opponent can be easily seen in them. Force and Fraud are part of their values. 
      2.  Business Value- People who have this value have ability to calculate their gain and loss easily. They are focused on their personal progress. Anything that can bring success to them is part of their value.

3.       Societal Value- This value is based on the Need of Recognition. People who have this are very image conscious. They want people to love them- respect them. These people can do anything to be the Center of Attraction. They can even get nude to get attention of the people. Film Stars are clear example of this value.

4.       Skeptic Value- These people do not accept things easily. They question everything. Scientists have this value that is why, they strive to discover the truth and hidden mysteries of the world. Their main objective is to find the truth and for that they can do anything.

5.       Spiritual Value- This is the best value. It makes us realize that we are not just human beings but also spiritual beings who want to get connected to the Infinite Power. This value makes us united and helps us in controlling our negative emotions.

6.       Artistic Value- These people don’t want to get into any conflict. They are good in negotiation and are also good in adapting with the environment. They are busy with their own work and their own world. This value is common in Diplomats.

Many people have a Myth that Values are firm but actually they are not.
In reality, Values are semi-fixed. They may change or they may not change. Circumstances have direct effect on our value system. 

There is nothing like good value or bad value. " Every good thing becomes bad at certain level and every bad thing becomes good at certain level" - Swami VivekanandaJust do the right things with right values. 

5 common mistakes Investors do in a Share Market

I have done my internship in a company dealing in Financial Securities. There I observed some good investors and some average investors. But some mistakes which were common in all investors are-

1. Blind Trust on Broker- Many investors don’t know on which share they should invest. They never study about the rise and fall of the market. They give complete authority to the Broker to decide a company and number of shares for them. Some Brokers for good commission ditch their clients and compel them to invest on some share which has a high future uncertainty. You buy a share or you sell a share, your broker will get a fixed commission on your every transaction. My Uncle lost a good amount of money because he blindly trusted his broker. After that incident he never ever invested in shares.
   
2. Lack of Knowledge of Financial terms- If you are investing in a share market atleast, know what is the meaning of a share? Beside that you should also know about debenture, dividend, interest, debit, credit, brokerage, liquidity and commodity. I have met people in share market who don’t even know what is a share and then also they invest on it. Without the knowledge of financial terms investing in the share market becomes more complex.
   
3. Share Astrology- Astrology is a good science but very limited people have its accurate knowledge. Astrology can predict whether you have good analytical and speculative skills or not but it can never predict that which share will rise or fall. Many investors get into the trap of Share Astrologers who predict a share for them and they invest on it. In a share market, believe more on your own intelligence than on any kind of occult science.
   
4. Not studying at all- Learning is a continuous process but unfortunately after getting a job people stop it. Share market is a place where you will have to be aware of what is happening around you. New plans of the company, New plans of the competitors of the company, Political changes, Economic stability of the country, Potential of the sector you are investing etc. You should know. Even things like War and disaster can affect the share market. Purchasing a share just because it is rising is a dumb philosophy of buying a share which many investors and brokers both practice.
5. Lack of Patience- Patience is a great personality trait. You can achieve anything if you work and wait. Many investors want to become rich in one night which is next to impossible. There is no shortcut of success. When they lose even a small amount of money either they stop investing or move to some other stock option. If you have analysed about the company you are investing deeply then there are 70% chances that you will not fail. Every plant grows slowly let your investment also grow.

Different Types Of Intelligence

There are 7 types of colors but with their combination we can make infinite number of colors  Similarly, there are 7 types of intelligence but with their combination we can make infinite number of genius people. Therefore, (scientifically) in this world everyone is a genius but some disguise themselves as fools. These different intelligence are-

• Linguistic Intelligence- This intelligence gives us ability to read, write, communicate or tell a story
• Logical- Mathematical Intelligence- This intelligence gives us ability to make experiments and strategies. It also improves our mathematics.
• Bodily Intelligence- This intelligence makes us good athletes and dancers. It also makes us good in crafts such as sewing, woodwork, pottery etc.
• Spatial Intelligence- This intelligence gives us Power of Imagination. People having this intelligence spend free time in drawing or even day-dreaming.
• Musical Intelligence- This intelligence gives us ability to sing and create music or play musical instruments.
• Inter-personal Intelligence- People who have this intelligence have many friends and are very adaptive to the environment. They are good in public dealing and human affairs.
• Intra-personal Intelligence- People who have this intelligence understand their desires, demands, needs and wants easily. Knowing oneself makes it easier for them to see others accurately. They have clear idea of their goals.

So, next time when you meet someone see which intelligence is dominant in him or her. Who knows you may learn something fantastic from them.

Every person in this world is intelligent. You only need an eye to see them.

  

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence simply means ability to understand our emotions and emotions of others. If you have ability to know your weaknesses and strengths, motivate someone and handle conflicts then you are an emotionally wise person.
A bureaucrat can be intelligent in his career but does that makes him/her patriotic, courageous and honest. The answer is 'NO'. Your academic records can never prove that you would have emotional intelligence.
There are many types of feelings in human beings like fear, anxiety, anger, love, hatred etc. Every feeling is important and one of the goals of life is to get balance on these feelings. You can learn to speak French, you can learn to read-write, you can learn to sing,dance or anything but you can not learn goodness from any college or tutorial. You have to learn goodness through yourself only. Outside stimuli can motivate you but can never teach you goodness.
According to a psychologist Daniel Goleman, " Emotional intelligence hinges on the link between sentiment, character and moral instincts."
We can understand the feelings of other people only when we will be open to our own feelings. Suppression of feelings does not solves anything. We should learn to put feelings forward in a right way. Remember, human beings are animals and like any other animal they are also needed to be trained.
Change 'lust' into love; Change 'aggressiveness' into assertiveness; Fear into courage; Sadness into happiness. We all need to learn this art of handling emotions. Being angry or sad are not sins but if you will not control them then they can hurt in many ways. Anyone can become angry or sad but we should show these feelings at right time, on right person, for right purpose and we should not cross the line of sensibility.
We need appropriate feelings in proportionate to the circumstances. Our mind releases different types of vibrations in every moment of life. The more gregarious we are the more we need to control the negative emotions else they will ruin our reputation.    
Whenever you feel that any of your negative action arose due to negative feeling will hurt someone you love stop yourself, take a breath and see how can you display your emotion with less severity. It is better to feel and then think than to think and then feel that you have done wrong.